Hide And Seek…It’s Not Always All Fun And Games

I remember as a child playing hide and seek in the yard, on the playground, in the dark… it’s an all time favorite game. Every so often when my kids have friends spend the night I will go out side and play hide and seek in the dark (yes even as teens they still like the game). It’s a great game. Trying to get away from whose it by running in zig-zags to keep from getting caught. It’s not a straight line to home base that will get you there faster, it’s just an attempt to stay in the game longer and not have to be the seeker, but that quickly tires you out. However if you are the seeker and you can’t seem to catch anyone, the game quickly becomes no fun.

Isn’t life like that sometimes? When we constantly chase after something and never get it? Or we run in zig-zags instead of the straight line to achieve our goals. We get tired and burned out. Life becomes less fun.

This past week has been a struggle for me. I’ve been wrestling with my inner monsters. Once again self doubt started creeping in. The raw emotions of why I am constantly struggling with  thoughts of worthiness, being a failure, Not being good enough….These thoughts make me moody and unpleasant to be around. It’s really quite depressing.

I was really struggling with these emotions and feelings this morning. Quietly in my heart, I felt God speak to me “Stop! Be still and hear me. I love you my child.”  I realized that once again I have been playing hide and seek with God again. He does not want me to feel these feelings. They are not from Him. I’ve once again been trying to deal with all these emotions feelings, and struggles and self doubt on my own. When will I become less stubborn? When will I learn that I can’t do this on my on. I have my husband and kids who are supporting me. I have my friends supporting me. And most importantly I have God to lean on and to heal all that is wrong, and to give me the strength to face the hard days, and to give praise to on the good days. I’ve been on the zig-zag path trying to deal with things alone, instead of taking the straight path by praying and turning to God for help.

Hiding from God really is kind of pointless isn’t it?  He knows right where we are every moment of every day. He knows our sorrow, our pain, and our joy. He knows our innermost thoughts. It’s time for me to stop trying to hide from God. It’s a game that I just won’t win. The path to my successful journey to better health and weight loss is by seeking God, and to healing my heart of all the junk that is holding me back. It’s not just a healing of the body but a healing of the spirit. I cannot have the physical healing I need  if I run away from the spiritual healing.

 Psalm 147:3  He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds 

1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you  

Deuteronomy 31:6 Be strong, courageous, and firm; fear not nor be in terror before them, for it is the Lord your god who goes with you; He will not fail you or forsake you

Lord I don’t want to hide any more. It’s pointless. My life would be easier if I quit fighting for all the control. Lord please continue to be with me by my side even when I fail. I seek You Lord. I need you Lord. I cannot go through life without you.

Love

We are such a diverse universe. So many diversities. Cultures are different, languages are different,  ethnicities are different. Food, art, music…the list goes on. But one thing that all humans want, need and desire is love. I do not know of any one person who says “Nah I don’t need love. That’s nothing important to me”  There are so many things that prove love is necessary, wanted and craved.  Psychologists write books on the importance of relationships, the importance of love. There are books written about the five languages of love. Movies are written around love stories. Songs are recorded with declarations of love. Poetry was written and art created. The Bible tells us over and over again about love.  Love is a vital component in our lives.

Throughout my life I often questioned the love in my life. Why did my birth mom not love me enough to keep me? Am I good enough to deserve love? Am I capable of love? Will I fail to show my kids that I love them?  I know I have people that say they love me in my life but is it genuine? Will there be strings attached? Why does love sometimes have to be so hard? Why does love have to be confusing at times?

However God is faithful, and steadfast. Time and time again He has shown me that I am worthy to love and be loved. God’s love for me, is a love that I never have to question. Never a doubt that it’s 100% genuine. Always there.  Waiting patiently for me to realize that my steps are veering the wrong way. Not judging me when I make a mistake. Not laughing when I fumble over my words. Quietly listening when i’m pouring out my fears and doubt. smiling at me when I get  things right. His gentle reminder that I am important.

One of my favorite songs is “One Thing Remains” It is a reminder that  God’s love is perfect.  His love never fails. His love never gives up. His love never runs out on me

 

Your love never fails it never gives up
It never runs out on me.
Your love never fails, it never gives up
It never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up
Your love
Your love

Never gives up on me

And its higher than the mountains that I face
and Its stronger than the power of the grave
and constant in the trial and the change
this one thing remains.
Yeah.
Higher

And its higher than the mountains that I face
and Its stronger than the power of the grave
and constant in the trial and the change
this one thing remains.
Your love never fails it never gives up
It never runs out on me.
Your love never fails, it never gives up
It never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up
Your love.
On and on! Come on!
And on and on and on it comes
Yes, it overwhelms and satisfies my soul
and I never ever have to be afraid,
this one thing remains!

This one thing remains!
Your love never fails it never gives up

It never runs out on me.
Your love never fails, it never gives up
It never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up
In Death! In light! We sing!
In death! In light! I’m confident and covered
by the power of Your great Love!
My debt is paid! Its nothing that can separate
my heart from Your great love.

Your love never fails it never gives up
It never runs out on me. sing it!
Your love never fails, it never gives up
It never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up
Your Love!
on and on and on!
and on and on and on it goes
It overwhelms and satisfies my soul
and I never ever have to be afraid
this one thing! Remains!
Your love never fails it never gives up
It never runs out on me.

Your love never fails, it never gives up
It never runs out on me
Your love never fails, it never gives up
It never runs out on me!
Your Love
Its Your love! Aw yeah!
love-love-33915166-1024-768

Isn’t that how we should love? Shouldn’t we love like God loves us? Ah how simple that sounds. Sometimes in our imperfect human ways it’s hard to love like that, hard to accept love like that. My prayers are that we all strive daily to become better at loving each other.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7