My morning text from my Friend/fitness/accountability partner “today’s workout is:45-50 min on the treadmill. Keep the first 35 min high impact. The remaining 10 min slightly lower impact. Then 10 min abs”
Ok I got this! I can handle that! Piece of cake!
I plug in my headphones and turn on Pandora. And off I go. Nice speed. Just below a speed that would put me at a jog. Working my arms engaging my core, chest up. Yes I’ve got this! This is going great! I’m working up a sweat. Got a good rhythm, I’m feeling good. This will go by fast.
5 min? That’s all I’ve done so far? Oh Come on! How is that possible?
Keep focused. Look ahead. Focus on the music. Music always makes things better Right? Eyes straight ahead working my arms. Focus Jen focus!
Oh Come on! Really how am I the only person who can’t walk in a straight line on a treadmill?!?
That’s ok. I can do this. It’s all good. So what if I can’t walk straight? Who is here to see me?
15 min? Oh come on! There is no way it’s only been 15 min! I so need to get this stupid timer on this treadmill fixed!
How can I be ready to stop now? I still have abs to do when I’m done on this treadmill! How come today it’s harder than the others? Did I make the mistake in deciding not to pursue weight loss surgery when my A1C levels drop? Wouldn’t that just be an easier option? Am I once again going to fail at loosing weight and getting healthier? Am I once again going to let myself down? Once again prove that I am a failure? Oh come on! Why am I so self defeating? Suck it up and deal with it! I’m almost done with this treadmill today. It hasn’t really been that bad. 20 min? What the heck!? Oh come on! Why God is this so difficult? Please Lord help me! I don’t want to fail. I don’t want to quit. I want to be successful. Please please please!
Answer me when I call to you, O my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; be merciful to me and hear my prayer. Psalm 4:1
I love how when I pray I have a stilling comfort that comes over me. It’s easier to focus and to be positive. God Loves me. He hears my pleas, my tears and reaches out to show me that fear and frustrations don’t come from Him. He wants me to be successful. He wants me to be happy and healthy. So come on Jen Be positive! It’s not that hard!
If you are sick of starting over, you have to stop quitting.
Never give up on yourself! Make you a priority and keep pushing yourself! You will be surprised what you can achieve!
I was successful in my work out today! I completed all that I was challenged with. I had to strike out the negative thoughts, and remember that it’s going to be hard. I finished with a positive attitude and I’m ready for the next challenge!
So come on and bring it! I’ve got this!