Uncontrolled Chaos

 I made a decision that I needed to loose weight….yeah yeah yeah I’ve said that  a million times over the last 20 years of my life…but this time was different. My life is in danger. In danger of ending because of Diabetes, cholesterol and high blood pressure. I have been slowly killing myself. Last year I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. My pancreas was working at 50% My fasting sugar was over 400! I had to do something!! Medication isn’t helping much, food is still my addiction, and It’s only gotten worse. Fighting off depression and self loathing and resentment. Mentally I was becoming desperate weak and exhausted. So a few weeks ago I decided enough is enough. I had to take control of the chaos in my life. I have a lot of living to do! I set out to have weight loss surgery. After all I know quite a few people who have been successful with this surgery. They are thin, healthy and beautiful…Ahh the vanity issue creeps in…I met with a surgeon at the Barix Clinic in Ypsilanti. Yes I am a prime candidate. I am just the type of person that can be successful with weight loss surgery. Next step insurance. I was pproved the day after surgery request was submitted. whoo hoo one step closer.

Now enters more chaos called a Dr appointment. My cholesterol is higher than a year ago. My blood pressure has been running consistently 189/110, and my A1C level was at a 9 (that is a test that shows the amount of sugar in the blood). I have neuropathy setting in in my leg and feet. YIKES!!! Did I mention i’m only 42? Way too young to have the body of an  old person (oh great my mom is 80 and her body is in better shape than mine). Tears and frustration! So I wait for the surgeon to get my test results from my doctor. and wait and wait.Please God let there be good news. Please God show me if this is the way I need to go. My emotions are high, and I am over emotional.

Enter God….the chaos is slowly becoming a controlled chaos. My surgeon called. “I’m sorry I have to deny you for surgery. With your labs the way they are I cannot operate on you. Your immune system is too compromised because of your diabetes. You will not heal properly and will be prone to infections” wait for it…wait for it….tears? wailing in sorrow? Nope a huge sigh of relief! God has left me with a clear cut answer “Surgery is not for you”

Enter my friend Tahny (tanycooks on WordPress). God has been nurturing our friendship over the last year. Tahny has a way to just make you feel special and important. As I have been sharing with her my struggles, frustrations, fears and concens she just listens and smiles and encourages and offers her assistance. She has taken on the challenge to help me. She said to me yesterday “Jen it’s not about the weight. It’s about cleaning out your system of the toxins and then filling it with the good stuff. The weight loss will be a bonus You can do this.I will help you” wait for it…wait…yep tears..sniff sniff 

Once again God has placed the right person in my life at the right time. A total answer to my prayers. So begins my journey to controll the chaos of my life!

Philippians 4:13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

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3 thoughts on “Uncontrolled Chaos

  1. I’m thrilled to give you the encouragement you need in life! Matter of fact, we all need it! You have been a blessing to me and I love how simple it is for you to make me laugh! You have inspired me in more ways then one! Welcome to the blogging world! I can’t wait to read all about your journeys in this everyday life!

  2. Jen I am so proud of you! I know this will be quite the journey for you and your readers! I am always here for you and if I can ever offer any help just ask. You know I am the juicing queen and have had my own struggles. Hooray for taking this step! It was one of the biggest and hardest to do I am sure. Now that you have done it let’s see where it takes you! Much love to you my dear friend.

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